This was written by an amazing woman, a battered wife of over 40 years, who worked in an ammunitions plant while her husband served in WWW II, trudged through the great depression, and raised 3 children with love ,an unrivaled sense of humor , the strength of Hercules, and the gentleness that you will see in what you are about to read. A woman who was never without a laugh and a word of encouragement for everyone no matter what she was dealing with at the moment. This was written by my mother and discovered by a family member just weeks before she died after a long bout with cancer. It was the kind of philosophy that got her through the tough times.
Stop, Look and ListenI wonder how many have ever lived a lifetime and never stopped to really take a look at the lovely world we live in.
Have you ever walked along a creek bank and watched the water rush over the rocks? Or maybe a fish flop up in the sun, saw a moss covered tree with ferns growing on or around it, stopped and looked at the green trees with the blue sky peeping through it's branches, watched a squirrel or chipmonk skurrying for nuts or listened to the many birds overhead, or walked through a field and saw the different kinds of grass, weeds, wildflowers, vines and toadstools?
When the snow falls and ice covers the trees and grass and the sun pops out, instead of thinking how cold it is, could you help thinking also how beautiful it is?
Even on dark nights you can look up at the millions of stars twinkling in the sky and hear the calls of the night creatures, watch the fireflies turn on their tiny lights and watch children chase after them with laughter in their little voices.
If you could just sit and look out your window for a while, you might be amazed at what you can really see, or what you might be missing.
Thank God for the beautiful world we live in!!
Here is what I think my mother would say if she were here with us today:
If you are in an abusive relationship, get out now! You're worth too much to be doing this to yourself.
The power and resources that are available to women these days were not to be found in the 40's, 50's and 60's. Use what is available to you. I know it isn't easy, but it can't be much tougher than living in torture every day.
DON'T SAY "But I love him". Do you love the way he is destroying your life and making an emotional wreck out of you?
DON'T SAY, "But I know he loves me". That's bull and deep inside of you somewhere, you know that. Love means give and take, not demand and control.
DON'T SAY, "He will change, it will just take some time". He was born this way and this is probably the way he will be when he dies. Since you have known him, has he changed? If the answer to that is "yes", has he changed for the better or worse?
DON'T SAY, "It's just stress related. It's because he has a tough job or he had a hard childhood, or it's because he was in the war". Those things are not your fault and there's probably nothing you can do to help him with those things even if they are true.
DON'T SAY, "No one else would love me". That's probably what he has been telling you. Take a good look inside yourself and see what you have to offer a decent, respectful person.
AND NEVER SAY, "I deserve it, I bring it on myself". If that's true, you need to get out for his sake as well as your's.
Remember that abuse is abuse whether you're physically getting the hell beat out of you, or it's done in other ways. Such as controling everything you say and do by passive agressive behavior.
Don't make excuses for yourself for staying or for him for treating you the way he does. Just find help, get as far away as you can and get on with your life.
Get your kids out. Even if they are not being physically abused, they are being abused emotionally. They don't need to live in it, they don't need to watch you live with it.
Start preparing today and get out as soon as possible. Don't live in denial another day. I won't tell you that it will be easy. In fact I will promise you that it will be a very difficult thing to do, but nothing worth having ever came easy and there really is a beautiful world out there and you deserve to be part of it.
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